How To Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up
Relationships require working on them - period. As perfect as the honeymoon phase is, certain obstacles are bound to pop up, brushing the oasis with a distinct shade of gray. That said, whenever relationship problems occur, we go into a fight or flight mode, but sometimes we don’t know which one is right for us. So, how do we choose?
Before we go into specifics, you should know that every couple faces relationship problems. Sometimes, some call it quits, load the most heart-wrenching playlist, and sulk until they get better. But if you think about it, this practically leads to a dead end, as there are so many ways to get help with relationship problems.
As therapists in Sumter, SC, we’ve helped countless couples overcome their challenges, no matter how grave they may be. And now, it’s time for us to help you! Before you start thinking the issues you’re facing mean your relationship is doomed, follow some of our tips on how to solve relationship problems without breaking up.
Communicate With Your Partner
We’ve all had that one argument that makes you so angry and proud that you don’t even want to talk to your partner, let alone listen to their explanations. This is exactly why so many relationships meet their early demise.
Relationship problems, even the most serious ones, can be solved with a simple conversation. Although it’s incredibly tempting to keep things to yourself just to avoid arguing, this can only make things worse down the road. So, the next time you and your partner disagree, sit down and talk it out. By talking about your feelings together, you can get to the bottom of the issue and solve it healthily.
Remember: relationship problems won’t just work out themselves. You always have to act on them.
Listen!
A vital part of healthy communication with your partner is not only talking but listening as well. However, this doesn’t mean you should listen just to respond. On the contrary, you should listen to understand how your partner feels.
Many relationship problems happen because there’s no mutual understanding. But suppose you start to listen to what they’re genuinely trying to say to you, admit when you’re wrong, and validate their emotions and feelings. In that case, you’re setting yourself up for a relationship that will do nothing but flourish.
Let Go Of Expectations
Another way of solving relationship problems is to let go of initial expectations.
It’s in our human nature to create expectations about certain things, be it our careers, friendships, or relationships. Considering outcomes are out of our control when things don’t happen as we want them to, we’re only setting ourselves up for disappointment.
With that in mind, let go of any ideals you’ve created in your head. In other words, don’t start setting goals like getting married one year into the relationship and having kids the next. When you’re with the right person, these things will come naturally, and you won’t feel the need to create any sort of plan.
No Comparisons
Have you ever been on a double date with what seemed the perfect couple that has no relationship problems in sight, leading you to think - what are we doing wrong?
Firstly, no couple is perfect, and if the facade seems sublime, there might be a lot happening that you don’t see behind the scenes. So, to answer your question - no, you’re not doing anything wrong except for maybe one thing.
You may be facing relationship problems because you constantly compare yourself to other couples. Of course, not many people are open to the idea of talking about their issues openly and publicly. That’s what Summerville counseling is for. In the meantime, however, they put up this image and try to fool others into thinking that their relationship is issue-free, which may prompt you to want one just like it.
The truth is that all partnerships are different, and each couple experiences unique challenges that need to be worked out. Likewise, you may need certain things out of your relationship that others don’t. So, instead of falling into despair from comparing yourself to others, turn your mindset inwards. Finally, don’t strive for perfection - it simply doesn’t exist!
Compromise
In an argument, you might believe that you’re always right. Interestingly enough, your partner feels the same way! This conversation may go on and on until someone admits defeat, and by some sort of happenstance, you seem to have found the solution to your relationship problem. Well, you haven’t!
We’ve already talked about the importance of communicating and actively listening, but another important part of a healthy relationship is learning how to compromise. Many couples see arguments as battles in which only one can emerge victorious. But if there’s only one winner all the time, there’s no grounds for a relationship, let alone a healthy one.
With that in mind, in addition to understanding your partner and validating their beliefs and emotions, you should also be willing to compromise. Some couples find this incredibly hard to do because it feels like they're losing their individuality, but it’s actually an excellent way to build trust with one another. If you’re feeling like this, start with the little things like where to eat out or what movie you’ll watch on date night. Over time, you’ll start building trust with each other, and relationship problems won’t feel like war anymore.
Ultimately, you may not get your way with everything, nor will your partner get everything they want. But isn’t that the beauty of relationships?
As you know by now, every couple experiences relationship problems, and how they deal with them is different each time. If you want to move past your issues safely and healthily, take note of our tips.
Still, if this advice isn’t enough, you can always visit us for couples counseling in Columbia, SC. We’ve helped countless couples move past their issues and make their relationship flourish. We would want nothing more but to do the same for you!
In the meantime, read the rest of our blogs for more neat relationship tips!
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